Leopards do not change their spots: the Flatulent Leader (hitherto known as “the Yeti”) left a trail of expensive, grandiose projects behind him when he ceased to be mayor of London.  These included £50m on a bridge that was never built, £3m on water cannon that could not be used, £250m on a bike scheme that was to be costless (and has cost not just oodles of spondulicks, but Heaven knowns how many lives).   Now he’s at it again.

Johnson fancies himself a Lion, in fact he resembles rather more closely a golden tamarind: an exotically coloured, dwarf monkey, useless for any practical purpose

When I was a child the Chimpanzee’s Tea-party at London zoo was popular entertainment.  It is no longer required: Cabinet Play-Time more than compensates.