It was a sometime Master of Balliol, I forget the fella’s name, who coined the phrase “never apologise, never explain.”

It is a latterday graduate of the same college (one B Johnson, of whom fellow alumni include Ghislaine Maxwell recently arrested on charges related to sexual abuse, Howard Marks notorious drug runner et al) whose motto is “never show shame, never anticipate.”

Disappointing news for prime minister Johnson this evening as a poll reveals that he has dissipated his party’s lead: 26% in March, zero now.  His personal rating is well behind that of Sir Kier Starmer.

Many will think he needs to buck his ideas up.  I demur.  I think he needs a motto, that’ll square him with the great British public.  There’s nothing they love like a toff.

I’m no classist, but here’s my suggestion: vide laborem et fugere

“It is an ill wind that blows no good,” they say.  Even the covid crisis, deadly and frightening as it is, has had some positives: it has cast a spotlight on the incompetences of governments around the world, and by forcing people to work from home it has given them a glimpse of an alternative life style.

Working from home is good.  It gives commuters more time for themselves, and perhaps their families, it reduces congestion, and helps reduce pollution.  not only that, but the evidence suggests that it does not cut and may actually increase, productivity.  So why is the British government urging people to return to their offices?

The answer is simple, and it is concerning. This government is the slave of high rolling financiers – asset managers and the like – who do not want to see their vast portfolios of investment property devalued.

Many years ago I knew – distantly – a very wealthy man.  Brought up in the East End of London he made his spondulicks in the rag trade, and plenty of them: he finished up driving a Rolls Royce and living in the Avenue Road, St John’s Wood.   But his products were shoddy: poor quality wool (for the lucky ones) or acryclic, badly stitched,  the kind of thing that cost tuppence, and lasted a week if you were lucky (and didn’t wash ’em), their design coarse and colourless.

One thing, and one thing only, he gave me: a piece of advice, “you never lose money under-estimating the public.”  I pass that on, free gratis and for nothing, to those wondering how on earth anybody ever voted for our dishevelled, filthy, lying, cowardly, bullying cheat of a prime minister.

Those MPS in the last Parliament who refused to support calls for a confirmatory referendum should be ashamed of themselves. Yes, Sir Nicholas, I’m talking about you.

One of the most chilling regimes of modern times is that of the Khmer Rouge – the hard line communist faction who ruled Cambodia between 1975 and 1979, during which time it has been estimated that anything up to 30% of the country’s population, and certainly more than 155 died.  What makes their record even more chilling – if that is possible – than the bare facts, is that it was never intended to result in mass genocide.

When the Khmer Rouge cadres marched into Phnom Penh, they were welcomed by cheering crowds.  Almost immediately people were ordered, on pain of death, to return to their ancestral villages: the idea being to return them to the simplicity of rural life, a life of equality at one with nature.  Those who rebelled, or whose behaviour indicate that they were not enthusiasts (“crimes” included the ability to speak a foreign language, or even wearing spectacles) were exterminated: the regime could not and would not tolerate anybody who was not a believer.  The leader of the regime, Brother Number One, Saloth Sar, whose nom de guerre was Pol Pot, was a recluse – barely seen in public, invisible and unaccountable.

Boris Johnson is not Pol Pot, but there are points of similarity, and they are unnerving: like Pol Pot, he picked up his “ideas,” such as they are, while living overseas;  he, too, hides from the cameras (notably in a fridge); he, too, demands loyalty and “belief” – competence is not a requirement; he, too, – let me give him the benefit of the doubt – is ruthless in imposing his aspirations; and h,e too,  has unleashed demotic unelected, unaccountable officials, one in particular,  to run amok.

It has taken Cambodia more than 40 years, to being to recover from the the Khmer Rouge years (of which there were 5). Johnson has been in charge for just one, but already the damage he has done to economy, education, health, hopes… is incalculable.

The French name for Cambodia is Cambodge – let us hope and pray that the UK, or what is left of it when Johnson finally departs,  is not reduced to La Grand Bodge.

There is one overwhelming argument in favour of Scottish independence – they get to keep Piggling Gove (and a life time’s supply of coke).

Which reminds me: Surprise

The subject of this blog is British politics, not Russian. So far as the latter is concerned, “I know nothing.”  But, when I turn the Radio on and I hear a former British ambassador to Russia saying that the regime has undoubtedly been responsible for intimidation including physical attack, I am within scope to question the links between Johnson’s Tory party and members of the President’s circle.

Today legal action has been instigated by some MPs to sue Johnson unless he orders an investigation into Russian meddling in UK elections.   I leave it to readers to ponder his reasons for refusing to do so; and will simply comment that things have reached a pretty pass when the loyalty of the British Prime Minister to the process of British democracy is open to doubt.

Three of the greatest – arguably the greatest – American comic actors of all time were… British.  The first, Charlie Chaplin, needs no introduction.  The second, Arthur Jefferson, maybe a little less familiar – until I mention that his stage name was Stan Laurel; and the third, best known for the role of Orville “Turkey” Jackson, was none other than Leslie Townes “Bob” Hope.

These three bestrode the twentieth century.  And they did so without being crudely offensive, without being cruel, albeit they were a little cheeky and, in the case of numbers 1 and 3, perhaps a little tight of fist; but each one them in their stage persona, and I believe their own character, displayed a touching sensitivity for the unfortunate, the down trodden, the “little guy.”

The clowning is there – who could doubt Boris Johnson’s buffonery ?  The little tramp now lives in No. 10 – but the empathy,  instinctive understanding of the despair and unhappiness,  of those less fortunate is a key factor entirely missing from today’s government.  Their mantra “Greed is good. Do as we say, not as we do,” is a recipe for a society of shocking callousness in which the elderly, the infirm, the young, the defenceless are thrown to the wall.  The impact of covid-19 is worse in Britain than any other European country;  opportunities for students are torn away; the dole queue grows;  government ministers who in previous years would have been hounded from office – the likes of Jenrick, Patel, Rabb and Williamson, cling to their ministerial salaries, no humiliation is too much;  the nightmare of Brexit will be fast upon us. 

And the Prime Minister doesn’t give a damn.  Remember Max Hasting’s prophetic words: “he [Johnson] is unfit for national office, because it seems he cares for no interest save his own fame and gratification.”

Alas, I have reached an age whereat A-level results are of little direct concern, deeply sorry as I am, for those whose hopes have been dashed.

There are clearly a number of issues arising directly from the exam results already announced – and those to come; but there is also a wider point.  When government ministers are appointed on the basis of their loyalty not their ability,  troubles are sure to come.  When government ministers are appointed who have previously been fired (and let me be clear, the PM is amongst them) for lying, and lying so incompetently as to be found out, troubles are upon us.

Chaos;  and four more years of it to come.