Somebody summarised the difference between Keir Starmer and the Flatulent Leader as follows:

• Starmer is a decent man trying to do his best for all of us
• Johnson is an indecent man trying to do his best for himself and his worst for all the rest of us

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I made a mistake in my last blog.  Downing Street is to be renamed Tinpot Alley

The exciting news has broken that Brussels is to name a square after the Bronte sisters (Emily and Charlotte passed formative years in the city).

We should reciprocate: I say Downing Street should be renamed Tintin Alley, with immediate effect

The amount of ability, intelligence if you will, in the current British government is barely sufficient to boil an egg, far short of what is needed to run a hamster cage.

But, even if it were present, ability does not compensate for lack of a moral compass.  It is more than possible to be a highly intelligent and accomplished, even charismatic, person and at the same time a rotter, an all round bad egg. The late Robert Maxwell provides a good example: to progress from a poverty stricken Czech village to running a major publishing empire, speaking – as mother tongue – several European languages, and with an MC, and  a former ambassador as general factotum was no mean achievement. But despite all this he was no good; he could not be trusted.

Now to pass to other matters, la famille Johnson…

Not so long ago Johnson was our Foreign Secretary – diplomat in chief, as you might think.  He is pretty much universally held to have made a complete mess of it.

Only the Tory party could promote a failure from Foreign Secretary to Prime Minister, but even the Tory part, for all its lies and evasions cannot disguise the fact that once again he is demonstrating that he falls far short of requirements.

Brexit we were told would put Britain back in its rightful place on the world stage.  Well it has: we are now seen coying up to a US President who despises us, and hoping for crumbs from the table of a Chinese government which has now stated that our behaviour will have “repercussions.”   As part of Europe we were well placed to stand up to bullies; that is no  longer so.  Australian leaders have stated with the utmost clarity that they think Britain’s leadership has taken leave of its senses.  As for Russia, words fail me.

Perhaps the Flatulent One is proposing Trade Treaties with Guam, Bermuda and Angola – that should get us out of our predicament.

The fact is that Johnson is not up to he job, and he has surrounded himself with those even less able than he.

Yesterday, I wrote of 3 things of which most people in my youth felt they could be proud.   I made a mistake, I should have included 2 more:

• the BBC – now cowering afraid of impartiality; and filling the schedule with unfunny “Humour” padded out with canned laughter
• the NHS – doing its best, but chronically underfunded for years.  Still, staunchly doing its best, but heavily reliant on many fine European staff who have been told in no uncertain terms that they are not wanted

The net result is the same: 3 + 2 = 0

Thanks to Dave, Theresa and Boris – for nothing

There was a time, not so very long ago, when there were 3 things of which most British people agreed we could be proud:

• our armed forces
• our universities, in particular the quality of their research
• our civil service, and in particular our diplomats, who “punched above their weight”

No longer. The armed forces have been diminished in number and reputation; universities have been reduced to profit centres; and our diplomats have been out manoeuvred and out gunned.

Just five years ago we were one of the most influential countries in the world, as a result of our leadership and administration of Europe. Now, at best, our international reputation is as the mouse that roared.

Ten years of Tory government has just about done for us. Corruption is rampant, expertise despised, administration chaotic, we have betrayed our friends and been seduced by cowards and liars.

The 30th June deadline is now passed: Britain leaves Europe at the end of this year. A moment of national shame the like of which we have not witnessed before.

Leopards do not change their spots: the Flatulent Leader (hitherto known as “the Yeti”) left a trail of expensive, grandiose projects behind him when he ceased to be mayor of London.  These included £50m on a bridge that was never built, £3m on water cannon that could not be used, £250m on a bike scheme that was to be costless (and has cost not just oodles of spondulicks, but Heaven knowns how many lives).   Now he’s at it again.

Johnson fancies himself a Lion, in fact he resembles rather more closely a golden tamarind: an exotically coloured, dwarf monkey, useless for any practical purpose

When I was a child the Chimpanzee’s Tea-party at London zoo was popular entertainment.  It is no longer required: Cabinet Play-Time more than compensates.

Ed Millipede, former Labour Leader was interviewed by Andrew Marr today.  His last words words were these”You know what I think about Keir?  I think the more people see of him, the more they are going to see the integrity, the principle and the decency that I know really well.”  I think he is right, and …

… what a contrast to the bloated cowardly narcissist now lurking like a giant slug in the corridors of Downing Street

There is a photo in some of the newspapers this morning (you can see it here) of two grown men about to play table football.  One is a scruffy, overweight yob, whose hair is uncombed and whose sleeves are hitched above his elbows.  The cuffs of the other are neatly turned back, revealing two bangles on one wrist, the slick effect somewhat diminished by the fact that his shirt is too tight.  One is our prime minister, the other our chancellor – I’ll leave readers to ponder which is which.

Of course, the prime minister should not be playing games now, or at any time, far less in a pub, which is where the picture appears to have been taken.   The picture encapsulates much of the problem: he believes (I was going to write “thinks,” but he doesn’t) that politics is a game, a game of yah-boo.  It isn’t it is about lives and livelihoods.  The former at serious risk from the casual and irresponsible way Johnson authorises lifting the lock-down, the latter from the insanity of Brexit, for which he bears the responsibility.  Angela Merkel’s words yesterday that “the UK must live with the consequences of weaker ties to the EU,” were considered, and chilling.

The experience of other countries lifting their lock-downs has made clear that even when the incidence of the virus has been reduced very low, death rates around single figures – it can re-emerge with surprising virulence. New Zealand after having had no new cases for a fortnight, found 320 people infected from just two.  Germany, South Korea, Italy have all found lifting the lock-down difficult and risky.  For an indication of the scale of risk the UK faces: Germany reported 14 deaths yesterday, South Korea 0, Italy 30, and the UK? 184, up from 149 the day before.

I, like Hancocks, Anthony and Matt, “am not a doctor.”  I do not hold 3 science O-levels , and most of what I did know I’ve forgotten, but even I can see that to be loosening restrictions when the virus is still present is a risk, which should be mitigated with words of caution: not images of table football designed to draw the punters back to the bars.